Paging Mr. Potter.

One of my biggest pet peeves over the course of the last few years has been the hordes of people that are in love with the man-child they call Harry Potter.

Bearing in mind that I don't have nearly the time to read the humongous textbooks that Potter author J.K. Rowling tries to pass off as novels, I was never a fan of the films either.

Then, by chance, I happened to be in my dorm room about a year and a half ago at school, and caught about ten minutes of one of the films, later finding out it was Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

Resisting temptation, I never watched the film again until about a year ago, when I finally saw Goblet of Fire in its entirety.

FML, I was hooked.

Since then, I've outwardly tried to act as if I hated the franchise, and everything it stood for.

Inside, I wished to be right there at Hogwarts with Harry, Ron and Hermione.

In fact, I think I'd have been a hell of a Quidditch player.

In addition, I feel like I would have been a valuable member of Harry's entourage. Voldemort kill me?

Good luck, you slimy looking bastard.

Let me say this though, there will never come a day where I sit down and read a Harry Potter novel. Never.

(Flash forward a number of years to the Haastile One sitting in a rocking chair reading Harry Potter to his children)

I have ordered the Potter flicks at least twice each through Netflix, find myself saying that I'd make a great wizard, and actually looking at merchandise from the franchise while I'm shopping. Things are bad.

Now that I've gushed about this enough, I feel the need to go kick my own ass.

But seeing as I can't do that, maybe I'll go brew some Polyjuice Potion and turn into someone who doesn't like Harry Potter films.

But why would I want to do that?