So I was startled awake this morning by my father asking me if I wanted to go to the Medieval Festival with my family. After an emphatic "Yes!" I rushed to get ready, basically inhaling a bowl of Cheerios, and we were on our way.
Things I heard/said at the Medieval Festival:
- "I'm going to the bathroom to have a sword fight...with myself." [my father]
-"Where'd she get that outfit, Ye Olde House of Juggery?" [me, about an older woman with a completely inappropriate outfit]
- "Is that a fruit cup? I LOVE fruit cups!" [medieval jousting guy, stopping his rant about jousting helmets to ask a little kid about their snack]
- "If you loved my step dancing, you can also see me Tuesday through Friday at Cheetah's." [my father, referencing a woman participating in renaissance dancing]
- "They'll ask her to join the show. She can be Lindsay, Mistress of Bitchery." [me, after one of the performers yelled at my sister for heckling him]
Things I saw at the Medieval Festival:
- a fire eater setting his leg on fire, which burned for 20-30 seconds before it was extinguished. He was later taken away in an ambulance.
- A man resembling a lawn gnome.
- obscenely large barbecued turkey legs.
- horseys!
- a guy dressed as a cross between a member of KISS and a vampire. But medieval-y.
What a day, maybe I'll go back next weekend.
But I won't be going alone. Other people need to see this ridiculousity.
Yes, I made up that word. It fits.
mistress of bitchery?
ReplyDeletedamn right.