Surprise!

I hate surprises.

Let me rephrase that: I actually love surprises, but I hate when I know something is coming but don't know what it is.

And of course, I'm always the recipient of the "you're gonna LOVE what I got you for (insert special occasion here)". And usually, I imagine that I'm getting a new car or something and end up with a brand spanking new ballpoint pen.

I hate the guessing game. When I know something is coming my way, I tend to try not to think about it. It limits my stress, and I think limits the stress of the person that's doing the surprising. And anyway, I normally don't NEED anything, so it's pretty easy for me to figure things out.

I haven't been surprised about a gift in roughly six years. I guess that I'm just a natural detective.

Of course, there are things in life that I find surprising. Among them are that:

-I had no idea that Jon Jones would defeat Mauricio Rua for the UFC Light Heavyweight title in March. If I had, I could have made some money.

-I had no idea that ALL women perfume their lady parts. It's just a fact.

-I had no idea that a Christmas CD is only acceptable if it has two versions each, count them TWO of "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" AND "Baby, It's Cold Outside."

-It is possible to die from a disorder known as "cute overload."

-The housing market in California is cheaper than New York.

-I was very surprised to find that there really is no difference in taste between Dr. Pepper and Diet Dr. Pepper.

A random sampling to be sure, but that probably accounts for 80% of the things that surprise me these days.

Let's remember, I'm a New Yorker.