Thursday, December 15, 2011

D'OH. Or Dough. Money...That's What I'm Talking About

I was feeling really good last night. Invigorated, almost like I could do anything.

Isn't it funny how fleeting those moments can be?

What I wouldn't give to be able to sustain that feeling for a lifetime. But true happiness can never last that long can it? I'm not talking just having a nice life.

I'm referring to the life of privilege. I wonder if those with unlimited resources are even blissfully happy all the time.

I think a pile of money would quell every fear that I have in life. Well, except for the fear of gold diggers, which I don't currently have, because well, I don't have any gold to dig.

I used to watch Duck Tales when I was little, and think that it was kind of funny that Scrooge McDuck went swimming in the money in his vault. But who the hell wouldn't want to do that? If I had that much loot, I'd be doing laps as well.

I'd convert the coins to bills though, so that I didn't snap my spine upon the impact of the initial dive.

I'm often asked the hypothetical question of what I would do with a million dollars.

My answer is always sensible; a house, a car, maybe pay off my student loans.

But would I really do all of those things? Maybe. But I'd blow the rest of the money on stupid things.

For instance, who wouldn't want a solid gold puppy?
Or a diamond encrusted toothbrush.

There's also a lot to be said for just having a weekend bender in Las Vegas. I've never been, and if I blew the kind of money that I think I would, I probably never should. But if I had the cash to drop, why the hell not?

But in reality, I would probably just save the money, and live off of it for awhile, not going crazy, just letting it trickle away a bit at a time.

Then again, I might just hire Nicki Minaj to play my first annual Earth Day festival, and the whole plan could go to hell.

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